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Archive for August, 2008

Netherland by Joseph O’Neil

August 23rd, 2008 rjhowell 3 comments

If you read many book reviews or book blogs, you’ve no doubt been exposed to the hype surrounding Joseph O’Neil’s Booker-listed novel. If it’s not the most positively reviewed book of the year, it has to be close. Sadly, I cannot disagree with the consensus. Netherland may not win the Booker—indeed, my vote still goes to Sebastian Barry—but it will put O’Neil firmly among the list of top young writers.

Though O’Neil is a strange breed of European mutt—born in Ireland, raised in Holland, schooled in England—he has generated one of the best books about New York City that I have read in recent years. The story is narrated by Hans van den Broek, a Hollander who is living in Manhattan after establishing a career and a young family in England. To all appearances, van den Broek takes the stage to tell us about the mysterious death of Chuck Ramkissoon, an energetic and charismatic man hailing from Trinidad-Tobago. This somewhat traditional plot conceit, a sort of whodunit, provides a false backbone for the novel, however, and anyone expecting a story in the classic fashion will be disappointed.

The brilliance of Netherland comes in the way the narration departs from the traditional linear styles. Perhaps because he is adrift in a sort of depression caused by the one, two punch of September 11th and his estrangement from his wife and son, Van den Broek is a very distractible narrator. He seems unable to keep his attention from being swept into the various eddies of his mind, shifting it across times and situations. The effect is not jarring—the segues are always smooth—but it could frustrate a reader determined to reach point G from point F without making stops at B, H, X, and A along the way. Such frustration would be unfortunate, however, since it is these stops that explode the novel into a multidimensionality that could not otherwise be attained. We get an intimate sense of Hans’ distress over his marriage, his sense of homelessness, the state of NYC in the years following the fall of the towers, and the way a game like cricket can provide the stitching that holds a life together when all else gives way.

Though van den Broek has a wandering mind, he has moments of clarity about his situation that are all the more striking for their contrast with his Hamlet-like paralysis.

…if I was indeed embracing an American lot, then I was doing so unprogrammatically, even unknowingly. Perhaps the relevant truth—and it’s one whose existence was apparent to my wife, and I’m sure to much of the world, long before it became apparent to me—is that we find ourselves in temporal currents and that unless you’re paying attention you’ll discover, often too late, that an undertow of weeks or of years has pulled you deep into trouble.

These moments of insight are so crystalline, that one wonders, at moments, how someone so perspicacious can seem so rudderless. That, though, is the paradox of an intelligent person’s depression.

If I still side with The Secret Scripture over Netherland for the Booker, it is only because the former is such a perfectly bound package of a novel that it cannot be overlooked. But perhaps in so favoring it, I am missing Netherland’s greatest accomplishment: that its rough edges are precisely what are appropriate for the psyche of its narrator.

Categories: Books Tags: , ,

The Schwarzenegger Conspiracy

August 22nd, 2008 rjhowell No comments

Categories: Film, Haha Tags: , , ,

Michael Phelps Returns To His Tank At Sea World

August 21st, 2008 rjhowell No comments


Ah, The Onion!

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Visual Illusions by Akiyoshi Kitaoka

August 21st, 2008 rjhowell No comments


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Winning a Fight against Twenty Children

August 19th, 2008 rjhowell No comments

With school just around the corner, young teachers are no doubt looking for advice and inspiration from the veterans of the field. Chris Bucholz over at Cracked has help: he offers excellent guidelines on how to win a fight against twenty children. I suggest everyone take a look: there’s no telling when those little fuckers are going to gang up on you.

Categories: Haha Tags: , ,

Texas Tax Holiday

August 16th, 2008 rjhowell No comments

It’s back-to-school time and the ever confusing tax holiday is upon us. This is when we rush out to buy the necessities for our children so they don’t start the first day looking like pigpen. But it’s confusing what is taxable and what isn’t. Here’s a few of the key points, as listed at the Window on State Government website. You can tell a little about the people who made the list based upon what is exempted. For example, it is clear that the listmakers subscribe to Field and Stream.

So, you can tax belt buckles, but not belts with buckles. You can tax household aprons, but not aprons for welders. Do not, by any means, tax adult diapers. We don’t want people taking off their aprons for any reason.

Baseball caps are exempt. (The kind that face forward, not the kind that face to the side or the back.) So are baseball jerseys. Baseball cleats and gloves are not.

In general, if it has cleats, it is not exempt.

Bathing caps are taxable, but not bathing suits. Cowboy boots are exempt, ski boots are not. Bow ties and bowling shirts, exempt, but not bowling shoes.

You’ll be happy to know that children’s novelty costumes are exempt. As long as they don’t involve cleats.

Fins but not fishing caps are taxable. Rubber gloves are taxable, but dress gloves are not. Unless they are rented. If you rent your dress gloves, they’ll be taxes. Your rubber gloves are taxed regardless. So, incidentally, are hockey gloves.

Hunting vests are exempt. Hmmm. In case when walking through the halls, you see a covey of doves that needs shootin.

Knee pads are taxable, but not leg-warmers. So I suppose, you could beat the system by pulling your leg warmers up over your knees! Take it to the man!

Paint respirators are taxable, but not painter paints or panty hose.

This weekend, all patterns will be taxed.

As will all pocket squares and personal flotation devices.

You can buy you some robes, tax free, but don’t even think about ribbons. They tax the shit out of ribbons. And shoelaces, cause they’re a lot like ribbons.

Boat shoes are exempt. Hmmm.

The shoe shine boy will tax you. If you are wearing skates of any kind, he will be shining taxable items.

Suspenders and bow-ties are exempt. That’s only fair, because if you wear those to school, you’ll be giving up your lunch money all year long.

Anything that has to do with tennis is exempt. Unless you use cleats when you play tennis.

Underpants and undershirts are tax free, but overshoes are not.

This is definitely the time of year to stock up on veils and fishing vests, unless they are bulletproof. The Bass Pro Shops Mourning Suit not only doesn’t get taxed, it’s on sale.

I hope this has helped. Now, I’m going to buy me some hunting shoes.

Nothing but Tears

August 15th, 2008 rjhowell No comments


See article at TheOnion.

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Eating Sustainable Fish

August 15th, 2008 rjhowell No comments

Ok, so I’m basically a piscatarian, so I’m not causing lots of pain when I eat. So, I’m morally good, right? And don’t give me the vegan line, cause I ain’t buying it.
Well, it’s been gnawing at me (turnabout’s fair play, after all): overfishing and the destruction of marinestuffs. I’m not about to stop eating fish, but a helpful article at foodluvin gives a list–and links to other lists–and explanations for which fish are “sustainable” and therefore moral pangless. I’m not sure I can follow it to the T, but it’s good to be aware.

Categories: Disturbing News Tags: , ,

From 78s to mp3s–Online Treasure Trove

August 15th, 2008 rjhowell No comments

Just discovered an excellent project taken on by some Hi-Tech Hercules: he’s transferring thousands of his old 78′s to mp3, and storing them on the web for all to enjoy. There are, apparently, close to 4 thousand records on there now, and several thousand more are on their way. Check it out.

Categories: Music Tags: , ,

Moving Pains

August 15th, 2008 rjhowell No comments

At long last it appears that my exile to the suburbs has come to an end.  When the Garland house closes on Monday, that terrible strip of Northwest Highway between Hillcrest and Oates can be left behind forever.  No longer is Chili’s the local watering hole and Applebee’s the corner sandwhich shop.  Finally, it is not just other underwatered lawns that are in walking distance.  Lakewood, here we come.

Of course, the pains have not ended.  Moving from a house to an apartment presents puzzles in spatial reasoning that make Rubick look a Rube.  And, there is the always entertaining game of hide-and-seek with the wireless signal in the new space.  But soon, soon I’ll be happy again.

Won’t I?